Taking The PCC


‘In the meantime, please raise a glass to Kevin Carroll, who today took his first decisive step towards Westminster.’

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! When reading the result of the Bedfordshire candidates for the Police and Crime Commissioner elections we saw Kev Karol’s name 1st and had a wee panic attack until we realised the list was in alphabetical order and he had actually come in at a massive 4th out 5 candidates! Braw! Kev is reported to be ‘ecstatic’ and ‘over the moon’ with receiving 8,675 votes, but in reality it is a very poor 10% indeed. The numbers are thus: in Kev Karol’s Konstituency of Bedfordshire 84,169 out of a possible 462,862 voted, and Karol got 8675. Now this is more than many people expected him to get but it’s hardly a reason to get the Lambrini out is it?

Needless to say the EDL/British Freedom Fluffies who Kousin Kev Karol was standing for are feverishly putting a spin on the whole thing saying that at least he didn’t come last. Well as the candidate who came in last actually died 2 weeks ago it’s not much to crow about is it? Despite the fact he is claiming an ‘historic result’ Kev is also complaining that muslamic-communist-UAF-lefty-smelly-Luton council deliberately sabotaged his campaign but we merely need to point out that his campaign didn’t need sabotaging as he had made such a piss-poor effort as it was! The campaign consisted of going out twice for an hour or 2 at the weekend terrifying grannies by pushing badly printed leaflets into their bemittened and hypothermic fingers. He had called on EDL supporters for help in assisting the campaign but they are only interested in a bathful of beer and a fight so they declined to help. Shame! Which is Luton council’s fault of course.

Kev was bound to blame others for the poor showing at the hustings as it is never the EDL’s fault when anything goes horribly wrong – like when Kev got nicked over the van thing, or when he accidentally seconded a BNP member in an election, or when he was accidentally nicked for shouting abuse at Muslims a couple of years back or accidentally wrote on Facebook that ‘Mohammed is a pedo’ and all Muslims are ‘backward.’ There was the case of the disappearing election posters as well. What happened is that Kev’s Kampaign Kohorts had ponied up the folding for some rather frightening looking billboards which were either defaced with a rather fetching Hitler moustache and matching swastika or completely removed. By whom we do not know and to be honest, we don’t care.

KKKev managed to KKKeep the £5kkk deposit but what will happen to it now? Will it be returned to those gullible enough to think he had a Cornetto in Hades chance of winning? Or will it be put in the biscuit tin under the very posh (and trustworthy) Lord Paul Weston’s bed along with the money from the hoodies, the Richard Price Defence fund and the money raised for Snowy when he was nicked bugling about on that roof which has never been accounted for. As indeed hasn’t any of the money the EDL have made!

Poor Kev has also got a less than respectable relationship with plod! He was nicked on the day that the EDL all got nicked in a van up to no good, he has been banned from going to his own rallies, he has been filmed arguing furiously with a femi-plod at the Walthamstow humiliation (and also shouting at Tommy) and he has been critical of the policing at Walsall when the ‘non-racist and non-violent’ EDL were throwing things at plod and getting their heads subsequently bandaged. Which is obviously the basis for a sound relationship. On opposite day! Of course, there are a considerable amount of anti-fascists who wanted him to succeed although mainly to see whit a hames he would make of it and also to see his ‘oh shit! I won!’ face and watch him struggling with the reality of the job until he was ultimately sacked. So we are more than happy to disappoint them – in the nicest possible way! We are also happy to report that the BNP fared dismally in the local by-elections. Hope not Hate folks are reporting the ‘BNP humiliated in Manchester. Just 2.9% in parliamentary by-election and 1.8% in council by-election. How embarrassing.’ So, all in all a good if slightly apprehensive day! Be Seeing You!

Thanks to Malatesta